Volunteering at Primrose Hospice – it’s not what you think….
Reflections on providing complementary Reiki therapy in the Coppice Centre at Primrose Hospice : why it’s not what you think and 5 revelations highlighted by the experience……
In telling you it’s not what you think and sharing 5 revelations from the experience, I still need to provide you with a trigger warning here, because I do touch (albeit briefly, I promise) on themes of death, grief and bereavement, which some may find upsetting.
Last week, I had my last shift at the Coppice Centre, which is part of Primrose Hospice’s day service; a dedicated family support and bereavement facility, where I have been fortunate enough to provide a morning of Reiki sessions as a complementary therapy on a fortnightly basis from June 2024 until the end of September 2026.
And I want to tell you : It’s not what you think. Plus I want to share 5 revelations from the experience I’ve had volunteering there.
So : “It’s not what you think” on two fronts……
Firstly, that’s what I tend to say when I tell someone, “Oh, I’ve been at Primrose this morning” and I want to tell you why it may not be what you think…
I realise that for many people, the word hospice conjures up images of sadness, endings and loss. Before I began volunteering there, I probably harboured a lot of those assumptions myself. We all think we know what a hospice signals, don’t we?…..
But my fortnightly mornings at Primrose have shown me it is a place full of life. There is an energy to the place that is contagious when you walk through the slidey doors. As you walk in, you feel uplifted. I have genuinely looked forward to arriving and being there every single time.
Of course, the Coppice Centre, being part of the day hospice service offered by Primrose, isn’t a hospice in the sense many visualise it, in that it’s not a bedded hospice offering around-the-clock medical care. So, in that sense, it’s already not what you might think.
Yes, of course there is sadness and there is loss from time to time. In the Coppice Centre, complementary therapy is one of the main offerings in two clinical treatment rooms. We typically see patients and family members over a course of 4 sessions.
Those receiving complementary therapy are navigating life-limiting illnesses, serious-condition diagnoses and bereavement, amongst many other life challenges. They may be undergoing treatment or facing end of life. Sometimes a patient hasn’t completed their course of 4 sessions because they have decided it’s not for them, and that’s absolutely fine – of course Reiki isn’t for everyone! And, of course, there have been those occasions when a patient has not come back to complete their course of sessions because they have died, and those moments have really stayed with me.
There is loss and there is sadness, without a doubt. (How is that ever going to be easy to navigate? A conversation for another time, I think…)
However, what I have experienced, by and large, is that the Coppice Centre is a place of life; a place of vibrancy, buoyancy and warmth.
People come to Primrose to live. To connect. To be supported. To find friendship, understanding, dignity and moments of happiness in the middle of difficult circumstances. So it’s really not what you might think.
It’s also not what you might think, because it hasn’t been a simple transaction of me generously giving my time, energy and attention out of the goodness of my heart.
I have spoken about my volunteering very little, partly because I haven’t been entirely comfortable with the generous praise it often attracts. In a world where every good deed can become a social media post, I felt uneasy shouting about it. In fact, me being me(!), I have even hesitated in writing this, just in case it is judged that I am shouting about it. With the chapter coming to an end, though, I just think : how can I not celebrate by sharing here what it’s meant to me (and maybe even encourage you to go for it, if you’re even half considering it?)? So no, it’s not what you might think!….
The truth is that it wasn’t a one-way act of giving. In fact, I’m pretty sure I have gained way, way more than I ever gave. I have learned and developed immeasurably as a practitioner and also as a human being in that time. And I want to share some of the revelations I’ve had along the way…….
In the main, these were not “revelations” for me, rather points that have been highlighted and sharpened for me. I have struggled to separate these out into 5 clear points, because they are so intrinsically intertwined…..
1. Every person is more than their diagnosis
Not viewing the person in front of you as “a cancer patient”, “a bereaved spouse” or “an ill person”, but as a rich and complex human being with a lifetime of experiences, relationships, strengths, interests, a sense of humour and, of course, their own fears and struggles.
Being interested, genuinely interested, even for that one hour with them, in that person.
2. Listening is powerful – we don’t listen to fix
This is a tricky lesson!
I am so aware that we are generally conditioned to listen simply to fix, to offer advice and to problem-solve. I am consciously seeing this around me all the time and acutely aware of my own desire to fix, but at the same time my investment in developing deep listening skills. I’ll admit, actually, the more I try not to do it myself, the more frustrated I feel (just a little bit, mind…) by noticing how much of this fixing I see going on around me!
I haven’t mastered this yet, but my goodness am I trying, because it’s a powerful practice to have! But my experience at Primrose has been rich in opportunities to practise making sure the person is heard.
3. Our words carry energy…..
Our choice of words matters so, so much. If we’re not careful and mindful of how we phrase what we want to express, we can inadvertently plant a seed of distress.
As someone who often worries that I can’t always express myself in a way I intend, this has been a rich experience. It has helped me to develop as a practitioner who is mindful of sensitive communication and more willing to pause before I speak.
There’s power in the pause, for sure!
4. We were never meant to do it all alone….
I have become so accustomed to being the “lone wolf” in my work as a self-employed Reiki practitioner and teacher. I am used to doing everything myself and answering only to myself.
I have really appreciated being part of a team again. Whilst our paths haven’t crossed frequently, I have really appreciated the mutual support with some of the other complementary therapists. My path has crossed more so with the admin staff and receptionist volunteers; I have really appreciated the warm welcome I’ve received that has made me feel part of the team.
However, what I’ve appreciated most of all has been the warm relationship I’ve developed with my line manager, the Living Well Services Lead. We’ve had some honest, restorative conversations along the way and I have learned so much from her, not just about the practical aspects of providing complementary therapy in a clinical setting, but about compassionate care, which she really values and fully embodies. She’s an absolute gem.
And for my last point, back to focusing on those beautiful humans I’ve got to work with!….. :
5. Everyone remains the agent of their own healing
Perhaps the most important lesson of all: whatever support or input someone is receiving, I am not the healer. My role is to create a safe, supportive space. The individual remains the expert in their own life and the active participant in their own journey. It’s a wonderful privilege to get to walk alongside someone in their healing, but it really is an inside job!*
That’s a particularly powerful reflection for me as a Reiki practitioner and teacher as it speaks directly to my deeply held philosophy of client autonomy, which is something I care deeply about. This view really has been strengthened and deepened for me through the experience of volunteering at Primrose.
And so, ultimately for me, the experience has been rich in highlighting how to be alongside another human being without taking over their journey. That, for me, is the essence of understanding what my role is. When you provide a Reiki session for someone, it can be a profoundly healing and helpful experience for them. That, quite obviously, can make you feel very good about yourself and how useful you have been. That feel-good factor you have to keep in check, because there’s a huge temptation to become attached to being the helper! There’s a boundary that needs to be lovingly held and I think the key to holding that boundary is appreciating the person you’re working with as the agent of their own healing, their own journey and their own life.
I would highly recommend volunteering at Primrose Hospice, if you have the time and resources to do so. I am sure it will be a rewarding experience, as it was for me. There are a wealth of opportunities there, not limited to the Coppice Centre or to complementary therapy specifically. You can find out more here. I currently can’t sustain it any further, and this feels like the natural point at which to step away, deeply grateful for 28 months that have enriched my practice, challenged my thinking, built my confidence as a practitioner and deepened my commitment to what matters most to me:
All opinions and views expressed in this article are my own. I use this space to reflect, evolve and grow. I am Helen Cochrane, an accredited Reiki practitioner and Usui Reiki Master Teacher, offering accredited courses. I am the founder of Alvechurch Reiki. Thank you for reading!
Thank you Helen for the hard work and dedication you’ve given to Primrose Hospice as a volunteer, we are all so grateful.
If you’ve been inspired by Helen and would like to volunteer, take a look here.
